A letter to my future provider

Dr. P,

I have heard only wonderful things about you, your practice, and your birth center and I thank you for considering me as a patient of yours for my upcoming birth.

I know you are reviewing my medical records for this pregnancy thus far as I am already 31 weeks in gestation. I wanted to write this to you because I feel those records may not tell the entire story of who I am, and why I am seeking your care.

First of all, let me say that this pregnancy has challenged me in ways I did not experience with my first. However, I am a firm believer in the universe, energy, and things being given to you in doses that you can handle. My first son, who is now two and a half, was conceived through IUI after fourteen months of trying on our own, after deeming ourselves ready with two full time incomes and a home of our own. It was very ‘planned’. It was smooth, no issues or complications just some heartburn and swollen feet.

That is what I needed at that time because, you see I was TERRIFIED of being pregnant, giving birth and did not know how physically and mentally I could even do it. I hired a team of birth doulas at 17 weeks and they were so informative, empowering, and supportive every step of the way. My birth was nothing short of amazing! I felt like a badass and was so happy and proud of myself that maybe I pushed those first few weeks a little too far because it was about ten days in to Motherhood that I was diagnosed with PP OCD and Anxiety. I won’t go into major details but just know I have been in the darkness and found the light. Since then I have created a community in the perinatal world to help others feel empowered and help them heal from PMADs. This has afforded me to opportunity to reframe so much about birth, motherhood, and women’s strength. I am a healer and Reiki Master and have become very in tune with my body and mind connection since having my son, even though I practiced reiki prior to conceiving him.

This time, we did not go through fertility, but my body decided it was time to grow our family. It was unplanned, and has given me many challenges. Nausea in the first trimester, FALSELY diagnosed hypertension in the second, and now risk of gestational diabetes in the third. In addition to some Pubis sympathis dysfunctions and round ligament pains I never felt with my first. I have also put up with a blatant bias for my size, even though nothing in my prior history warrants those concerns.

I am asking you to give me a chance to have the most empowering, positive, gentle birth and transition possible. Knowing that I am willing to shift gears if medically necessary. Of course baby and my safety is a priority. I am asking you to afford me the opportunity to birth the way I know our bodies can, with the support and encouragement from my family, doula, and birth team I want this time to be magical now that I know what I am capable of.

I have said from the moment I found out I was expecting, I want a homebirth experience in a hospital. However that has presented a challenge of finding a provider who can accommodate. My doula reached out (about a lotus birth) aand someone from your birth center responded quickly. I did my research and knew you were the path worth choosing even though I live an hour away.

This is the last child that I plan to birth and truly hoping for the experience I have been visualizing for months. I also have done the best I can with staying the course of prevention for another PMAD so that I can enjoy this transition wholeheartedly. I hope we can work together and empower each other for the birth of Owyn David.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to meeting you very soon!


Nicole Obenshine


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